Yesterday was a disaster.

I was so angry when I was about to perform, that I actually blanked. It was worse than one of those nightmares where you go to school only to discover that you forgot your pants. I FORGOT THE WORDS. So I picked a random lyric from the song and sang it. And then I felt my face heat up tremendously, and I was certain of the shade of crimson my face would have been. So I turned around to face the band and told them to stop. I asked Patrick, "What's the lyric to start??" And he shrugged, un-phased. I told him I wanted to run out and just quit the song. I came THAT close to running out crying in front of everyone. 

And so finally when the band stopped playing, I asked Alex (who wrote the song) what the first words were. He calmly told them to me. Four times. And the band began to play. I sung it all, and I somewhat redeemed myself (I hope). It was a horrific experience that I hope I'll never re-live. I'm supposed to be good at what I do. I'm not supposed to let my emotions get the best of me. 

I hope I don't turn out to be one of those performers who read their lyrics like karaoke from a little screen on the stage (Axl Rose...), or WORSE, I hope I won't pull an Ashlee Simpson. 

Please oh please, God of music (it's one of those Greek gods whose name starts with an "A"), don't let me screw up when I'm all on my own. Don't let it happen again.

And so I hated Arts Jam yesterday. That is all.

Love, 

Carrie Anne