Hello!

Today would have been more fantastic if I hadn't gotten sicker, or if my favoritest cat didn't run away. On top of that, we're supposedly giving away our old fat white cat, Heidi--TOMORROW. I will die. That kitty has lived with us for around a decade. I can't live without her, the bitch she is. 

Tinsley made me read my fiction story out loud to her today. Then mom got a hold of it and read it all, 7 pages single-spaced. She liked it!

Anywhoms. I don't think I'm gonna go to school tomorrow. I'm dizzy, tired, have a sore throat, headache, a cough, I sneeze a lot, my mouth is really dry, I get the chills, I get nausea, and other things. But I haven't thrown up, and nor am I running any fever. So. No Swine flu! Hooray!!

This medicine is making me tired. So good night!

Love,

Carrie Anne

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! I'm sick! 

This can't happen! I was going to perform at the Arts jam, but I can't sing on this sickness!!!

I was going to sing a song I wrote, called Distant Years, but NO. And the first time I planned to sing it (at symposium), I got sick. It's the curse of the song, it must be.

The AP Euro practice exam KICKED MY ASS. 

Anywho (do I overuse that word?)...

Sam's party was a lot of fun last night, but Alaina and I were essentially the last ones to arrive and the first to leave. I might have planned to be ten minutes late, but I didn't plan to get lost on top of that. Soooo I felt like a jerk. But it was fun anyway.

After the party Crystal slept over. And I beat my high score on Bejeweled Blitz (96,000 something). I dare you beat my score. 

Today we went to Birkdale and ate Gelato and had a fun time. I LOVE THIS WEATHER!!!!!

I feel like Joseph Goebbels. QW#AJSJSRUTHRU!!!

My head is throbbing and my nose is stuffy. I would feel better if someone commented. Pwease?

Love love and love love love,

Carrie Anne

I think I'm turning into an emotional wreck. When did this happen??

This morning I stumbled into school, drained and tired. I cheered up for Fiction writing-- damn it I love that class-- and math even put a smile on my face. (I found out Mr. Taylor loves Scrubs as much as I do!!) But then something possessed me to tell someone (to spare any drama, you won't know the name) that they pulled a "bitch move". Then I walked away, hands shaking with anger. Then person number 2 walked by, whom I like. And next thing you know "bitch move" person, person 2, and I were all feuding in the girls' bathroom. I don't want to be "that" girl crying in the bathroom. But when "Bitch move" left, I was that girl. FML.

I decided that I was sleep deprived, I must have been with the way my temper was flaring. So I got home and took an hour nap before the phone rang. Things turned out okay, and "B. M." didn't win this one. 

Then I danced around in rainbow pajamas and celebrated my new found happiness. (I told you I'm a bundle of emotions) I pinned my hair up in a funny way so that it looks and feels like a hat. Then I ate a few cookies.  (See below)

Oh! In the news today I learned that North Myrtle Beach is on fire, and the fire is right by where my grandma and grandpa live (It's destroyed over 70 homes). So I panicked, but learned they're okay, and they just watch the smoke in the distance. That's nice.

I hope tomorrow I can be down to earth. I only have four classes since I have a double english drop. Hooray!!!

Emotionally,

Carrie Anne

Nevermind the "good day". Suddenly it's turned very bad. 

Today I took part one of my two-part AP Euro. test. I should also mention that it is the LAST AP Euro test I will EVER take (besides the exam[s]). That may or may not have contributed to the fact that my day was so fantastic. I love that the weather is warm, I love that thunderstorms just pop up and go away now, and I love that I've only got some 25 days left of school. Oh boy!

I wish I wish I wish... that... I'll get into a writing camp this summer! Oh please! I won't ask for anything on Christmas! It's all I want!!

I need new/more friends. Surrrrsly.

Love and joy,

Carrie Anne

I was in the middle of ranting to my mom about why I'm unhappy when my phone rang. Ironically it was him. So I answered. 

And I'm glad I did.

I'm a big girl, I make my own damn decisions.

=]

Optimistically (it's about time someone is),

Carrie Anne.

I think I've finally come up with a story idea! I haven't been inspired lately on a scale large enough to form a story around, but last night a story hit me out of nowhere. We'll see where it goes. I'm thinking it'd be a suspense story. Fun times!! 

I watched the movie "W." with my Dad last night, and it was pretty awesome. 

I feel like a failure... all I've really done this weekend is walk around downtown and play bejeweled blitz on facebook. Which reminds me that I really need to play bejeweled blitz now.

Carrie Anne

So today I switched lab groups. After working with a group that moved too quickly and constantly ignored me, it was time to move to a group that I knew I'd be more appreciated in. So I moved to the all-guy group, and they agreed to let me do everything from now on. lol. FINALLY.

In AP Euro., we learned about the holocaust and I think Mrs. Huffman was about to cry. She was showing us a picture of a Nazi holding a gun to a woman and her child in a field. I really couldn't take any more than an hour of that lecture, so I was glad when the bell rang. 

I was actually invited to a party! hooray!! But Alaina and I were the only sophomores invited besides Shelby, and it's a pool party so I'm a bit concerned. lol. Anywhoms. I'm so super duper excited for summer it's RIDICULOUS. 

Tomorrow is my Chemistry test AND my AP Euro reading quiz, so that'll be interesting. 

Peace and stuff like that,

Carrie Anne

Bonjour mes amis.

Today was fabulous. I thought it was going to rain but it didn't! School was the usual, but I watched a particularly awesome episode of Scrubs when I got home. Then I ate two mini cupcakes =]

I also learned how to play "Where Does The Good Go" by Tegan and Sara, who are amazingly awesome gay canadian twins.  I highly recommend you check out their music, because it's epic. Anywho. I didn't get into the Juniper Institute Creative Writing Workshop (UMASS) for this summer. I was wait-listed. Some people tell me it's just not what the "universe has in store for me", but I dont know. I cried. =/ 

lol... It's not even the place I really wanted to go. It's just the fact that I wasn't quite good enough that annoyed me. Whatevs. I did send in the app. at the absolute last possible hour of the last possible day... I'll know better next time. But the place I'm really counting on to get into is Bard Simon's Rock. I want to be able to stay a while if I'm gonna go all the way up to Massachusetts in MY summer. So the second program is a three-week thing. I'm hoping that I'll get in and make a lot of friends, or a few really great ones that I can really relate to. 

So the band (The Jupiter Gang) has informed me that they're working on a replacement for me. Apparently Metz is up for it. Which is awesome because he is a FABULOUS singer, but it's horrible because I'd miss the band terribly. Hopefully the band will sit back for a couple of months and then let me rejoin the band when I'm ready again. 

But life doesn't always work out perfectly. Ha! If it did, I wouldn't even have a reason to leave the band to begin with! I'd be happily in love with the person who stole my heart two years ago, and I'd still have all my childhood friends. (Jordan is moving allllll the way to Washington over the summer. I WILL DIE)

Anywhoms the new cover is at youtube. (I'm RedBlueGreen12345)

And here's the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMmsIHkeEHw

Love and Love and Loveee.

Carrie Anne

Today I was forced to return to school. It was a gray tuesday, the kind that usually get my panties in a bunch. But knowing that I would have to try extra hard to be happy actually kept me pretty content all day. 

I've skipped a few days of entries, so I should let you know what I've been up to. You're surely thinking... "Was Carrie slaving away at her AP Euro. studies?... Writing a masterpiece? Going out in public?" 

Well I certainly haven't been pulling my weight in any subject recently, which is worrisome seeing as I have pt. 1 of my Chemistry test tomorrow, and one of my stories will be workshopped soon, I fear. I have written a song, though. It's called "I Don't See You", and can be found at myspace.com/carrieanneishere or at youtube (my username is RedBlueGreen12345). I like playing that song because there are only three chords involved, lol. 

Anywho. I accidentally dozed off today for about 3 hours. That means I need to finish my homemade tortilla soup only to do actual work until I go to bed. Hopefully I'll get some rest tonight despite the power nap I took. 

Ben called me yesterday for the first time in a while. It was a bland and brief conversation in which we civilly discussed my hatred for him... He called back today during my power nap, and that was pretty much a FAIL conversation because I was just nodding off slowly back to sleep. I wish he'd hurry up and pick up his stuff from my house (sweatshirts, photos, drawings...) so I don't have to nostalgically stare into their being any longer. *sigh* Let it go, Carrie. Let it go.

Wish me luck on my Chem. Lab test tomorrow!! 

With love, 

Carrie Anne

Hey everyone who reads my blogs! (probably just you, Jim.)

Today sucked. Compared to any school day it kicked ass, but as for being the last day of my vacation at the beach, well, it reeked. I woke up at 7, then went back to sleep. I woke up at 8, then went back to sleep. I woke up at 9, then forced myself out of bed. Christine slept over last night, so I woke her up too. We had to clean up since we're getting ready to go home tomorrow, so that sucked. And then I texted Houston and he blew me off. There went my plans. Then I walked around the resort desperately searching for a source of entertainment--none. I'm now all pruny and wet from sitting in the public hot tub staring at the clock for an hour and 15 mins. My book that I'm reading about how to let go of someone... well I've already jumped wayyy ahead of myself and I'm getting quite anxious. Please please please dont let these signs point to the inevitable conclusion: I need affection to be happy. My god how pathetic would I be. 

We're probably going to see a movie tonight, but what I want more than anything is to succumb to my emotions. I need to either be surrounded by a lot of friendly people, or I need to be eft alone to reflect on how lonely I am. 

Wishing for anything great,

Carrie Anne.

I'm so sunburnt! It's not even a thorough burn, it's heavily concentrated on my left shoulder.

Anywho. Yesterday was my birthday! It was alright for the most part. I went shopping and out to Olive Garden. Later I decided to hang out with this guy Houston, and his brother C-Rock (Chase). When we discovered that the hot tub we met at was closed, we made a plan B. Plan B was to walk down the beach a little ways and waltz on into another resort, where there are much better hot tubs. It was in the 30s, and I was wearing a string bikini, lol. So I shivered my way there with the sand beating against the backs of my legs in the wind. Houston was nice and put his arm around me. On the way back, however... It was SOOO cold and windy, and we were all wet, so I just RAN. I think I stepped on a crab or two...

Thank goodness today was warmer. 

I'm getting better at being single. And I certainly don't feel hopeless any longer. 

Love,

Carrie Anne

I rolled over in bed this morning, woken by the sun in my eyes, and the wind gently vibrating the condo tower. I remembered where I was--Myrtle Beach, what day it was--my little sister's birthday, what I had to do--11:00 hair appointment, and what happened last night. Last night I made new friends, and became a little bit closer to accepting my independent lifestyle. After reading about 100 pages in a book titled, originally, "Letting Go," I'm realizing my hopelessness at the cost of a touch of hysteria. In the daylight I'm fine with who I am, who I'm with, and what I'm doing. But certainly by nightfall, when I'm alone, I begin to flutter with nausea and heartache all over again. This is supposed to happen, and it's only chemicals, I keep reminding myself. It's not Ben that I miss, I'm realizing. It's the high of feeling loved that I miss. I miss hearing my phone play "Time to Pretend" and melodically answering to his voice. Now the song makes my throat tense up, and a bit of panic courses through my veins. I changed my ring tone last night.

As for the band we're both in... well... 

I swore I was done. I made that decision final two days ago. But I've been thinking rationally since, and I'm willing to take a three month break, and then try it again. Now to tell the band...

Hopefully it's fine with them, but I know it's no at all likely. Last time something like this happened, I felt like the guitarist would slit my throat. Wish me luck this time...

Love and patience,

Carrie Anne.