Hello, hello!
This morning I woke up with a peculiar taste in my mouth. Feeling mike I needed to wipe the left corner of my lip, I did so. Turns out it was blood. I had apparently bled all night long... Probably swallowed a bunch of it. So I sort of panicked, and demanded that mom took me to the doctor "now". So I put some ACTUAL clothes on for the first time in a week, then we proceeded to go downtown where they could fit me in. The guy was real rough, pulling my lip back and ripping bloody strings out with some sort of doctor tool thingy. He told me to brush my teeth all the time anyway, even though it bleeds. Then he let me ask a set of random questions I had written on a piece of paper. My most important question was when I could try EATING something... like ravioli. He said I could start today, and I was very very happy. =DDD
So I got home and ate two helpings of micro ravioli. So so so much better than drinking broth slowly with a baby spoon. Yay!
I can't wait til I can open my mouth wide enough to at least put a finger between my teeth. It'll make hygene a LOT easier, and eating will be much quicker.
I have a soft spot for Drake and Josh, so I'm going to go watch that now. And I doubt more than one or two people will read this anyway.
Love,
Carrie Anne
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Well now I'm sitting here eating chicken and star soup. Really I'm just picking around the carrots and chicken and swallowing the stars. Anyway. Emily is gone now. We watched "Breakfast at Tiffany's", and I liked it.
As I'm watching "Two and a Half Men", I'm realizing something about laugh shows. The ones where there is an automated laughing audience. It used to annoy me, and I felt it was cheezy, but it's hard to notice it now-a-day. I quite like the fake audience, actually. I think they add it in so that people, who, like me, can watch T.V. alone and actually laugh at the funny moments in the show. It's nearly impossible to laugh at a show when no one's there to laugh with you.
Anywhoms. Just thought I'd share that realization. Maybe it was obvious to everyone but me. But just like a laugh, a thought is pointless when there's no one to share it with.
Love,
Carrie Anne.
As I'm watching "Two and a Half Men", I'm realizing something about laugh shows. The ones where there is an automated laughing audience. It used to annoy me, and I felt it was cheezy, but it's hard to notice it now-a-day. I quite like the fake audience, actually. I think they add it in so that people, who, like me, can watch T.V. alone and actually laugh at the funny moments in the show. It's nearly impossible to laugh at a show when no one's there to laugh with you.
Anywhoms. Just thought I'd share that realization. Maybe it was obvious to everyone but me. But just like a laugh, a thought is pointless when there's no one to share it with.
Love,
Carrie Anne.
Day 6!! So close to the end of the first week in recovery!
At this point I'm just killing time waiting for Emily to get here. She's gonna come bring movies for us to watch, and I imagine she'll spend a while laughing at me. I'm going to try not to be envious when she eats a stouffer's french bread pizza and I'm eating soup/yogurt/ensure with a baby spoon. sigh. I feel like I look better today, as far as the swelling. My bruises are still yellow, even the ones on my neck. I opened up a wound in my mouth twice now. it's huge! Just a pile of stitches and tissue and whatnot, impossible to not at least brush up against while brushing the teeth... So it bleeds and bleeds. We called the doctor asking if I can sleep flat yet, and apparently it's still too early for that. =[
The internet boyfriend is working today. So hopefully I'll get to talk to him tonight.
I'm running out of things to report, so I'm just gonna end this and wait for Emily while listening to Switchfoot. Hope she brings good movies.
Love,
Carrie Anne
At this point I'm just killing time waiting for Emily to get here. She's gonna come bring movies for us to watch, and I imagine she'll spend a while laughing at me. I'm going to try not to be envious when she eats a stouffer's french bread pizza and I'm eating soup/yogurt/ensure with a baby spoon. sigh. I feel like I look better today, as far as the swelling. My bruises are still yellow, even the ones on my neck. I opened up a wound in my mouth twice now. it's huge! Just a pile of stitches and tissue and whatnot, impossible to not at least brush up against while brushing the teeth... So it bleeds and bleeds. We called the doctor asking if I can sleep flat yet, and apparently it's still too early for that. =[
The internet boyfriend is working today. So hopefully I'll get to talk to him tonight.
I'm running out of things to report, so I'm just gonna end this and wait for Emily while listening to Switchfoot. Hope she brings good movies.
Love,
Carrie Anne
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Day 4 or 5. I don't even know.
Pros and cons, pros and cons...
Since I can only think of one pro at the moment, I'll only list one con beside it.
pro: I have an internet boyfriend =]
con: I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN! I could cry at any given moment it hurts that freaking bad.
love,
Carrie Anne.
Since I can only think of one pro at the moment, I'll only list one con beside it.
pro: I have an internet boyfriend =]
con: I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN! I could cry at any given moment it hurts that freaking bad.
love,
Carrie Anne.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Post-Op recovery (Day 3)
I've been debating doing a blog post because whenever I'm awake it usually just means I'm in too much pain to sleep. But seeing as my memory isn't working great right now with all of the medications and whatnot, I might as well type up some of what I feel.
I was so afraid just before the surgery while waiting for my anesthesiologist that I was laughing through tears. It's hard to distinguish a happy laugh from a nervous laugh, so it's no wonder the doctors liked me so much. If only they knew how afraid I was. Anywho, they made my parents go wait for a couple of hours and sent me off to get dressed (or undressed). I walked into the Operation Room, and there were a bunch of busy people. So I asked everyone at once if I put my things on right. Heather, the surgeon's assistant and my friend throughout the surgical process, told me it looked great. So they told me to sit in the chair, and I was literally shaking. I knew three of the faces, but the other new ones seemed kind enough. I trusted them. The anesthesiologist asked me about what I'd be doing the rest of the summer, then warned me that I would breathe pepperminty gas. No, he didn't make me count or anything on my way under. He told me I'd feel like laughing. So I laughed a few times, then my eyes shut.
When I woke up, I slowly blinked my eyes open and I could hear and see my anesthesiologist right before me, but I cant remember what he said. They pulled a wheelchair next to me, and helped me into it. I was feeling like I was barely there. On the inside I felt like laughing, but I couldn't move my face or say anything. They wheeled me to the recovery room, which was dark. Mom and Dad (together, I know. Weird!) were waiting for me with their happiest "it's-going-to-be-ok" faces on, but even I knew I looked dreadful and pathetic. I slowly wavered in and out of consciousness for a couple of hours (not sure on actual time, I lost track). One time I woke up to my dad taking a video. Then he worried I might laugh so he stopped recording. I have the video on my camera if I decide to upload it later. Someone wiped my mouth and I could tell I was dripping blood. Then I motioned that I needed to go to the bathroom, so a nurse wheeled me into the bathroom and helped me pull my pants down. I wasn't expecting THAT much help. She watched me try to use the bathroom, but instead I just motioned that I needed to throw up. I settled down enough and the nausea left me. They asked if I was ready to go home, and I motioned "no". I was worried I'd throw up in the car. So they gave me some more time to rest before wheeling me out into the bright outside and helping me into the car.
I got home and basically slept the rest of the day. If I needed something, I could ring a bell and write on a pad, because I couldnt talk.
Day two was really awful. My throat hurt so bad! Every little ounce of liquid was costly to consume. I had to go upstairs and get changed, so mom and I slowly walked upstairs and I got changed into a comfortable tee shirt and a pair of jeans. Then I brushed my hair and we went off to our check up with Heather and Dr. Spagnoli (the surgeon). Heather showed me how to brush my teeth, and Dr. Spagnoli showed me how to open my mouth. Then I was also shown how to put rubber bands in. If they aren't in, my jaw just flys open. lol.
It's day three now. And I woke up in pain at 9:30. I was supposed to have my medicine at 8, but my mom forgot. My entire left side of my face hurt. But I can talk now! I talk like a shy fat person though. Hell, I look like a shy ft person. lol. I'll show you. As a reward for going to my blog.
Here I am at day two.
And here I am today, at day three. Major difference is in the bottom lip.
I can't wait to be un-ugly.
Thanks for listening =]
Love,
Carrie Anne.
I was so afraid just before the surgery while waiting for my anesthesiologist that I was laughing through tears. It's hard to distinguish a happy laugh from a nervous laugh, so it's no wonder the doctors liked me so much. If only they knew how afraid I was. Anywho, they made my parents go wait for a couple of hours and sent me off to get dressed (or undressed). I walked into the Operation Room, and there were a bunch of busy people. So I asked everyone at once if I put my things on right. Heather, the surgeon's assistant and my friend throughout the surgical process, told me it looked great. So they told me to sit in the chair, and I was literally shaking. I knew three of the faces, but the other new ones seemed kind enough. I trusted them. The anesthesiologist asked me about what I'd be doing the rest of the summer, then warned me that I would breathe pepperminty gas. No, he didn't make me count or anything on my way under. He told me I'd feel like laughing. So I laughed a few times, then my eyes shut.
When I woke up, I slowly blinked my eyes open and I could hear and see my anesthesiologist right before me, but I cant remember what he said. They pulled a wheelchair next to me, and helped me into it. I was feeling like I was barely there. On the inside I felt like laughing, but I couldn't move my face or say anything. They wheeled me to the recovery room, which was dark. Mom and Dad (together, I know. Weird!) were waiting for me with their happiest "it's-going-to-be-ok" faces on, but even I knew I looked dreadful and pathetic. I slowly wavered in and out of consciousness for a couple of hours (not sure on actual time, I lost track). One time I woke up to my dad taking a video. Then he worried I might laugh so he stopped recording. I have the video on my camera if I decide to upload it later. Someone wiped my mouth and I could tell I was dripping blood. Then I motioned that I needed to go to the bathroom, so a nurse wheeled me into the bathroom and helped me pull my pants down. I wasn't expecting THAT much help. She watched me try to use the bathroom, but instead I just motioned that I needed to throw up. I settled down enough and the nausea left me. They asked if I was ready to go home, and I motioned "no". I was worried I'd throw up in the car. So they gave me some more time to rest before wheeling me out into the bright outside and helping me into the car.
I got home and basically slept the rest of the day. If I needed something, I could ring a bell and write on a pad, because I couldnt talk.
Day two was really awful. My throat hurt so bad! Every little ounce of liquid was costly to consume. I had to go upstairs and get changed, so mom and I slowly walked upstairs and I got changed into a comfortable tee shirt and a pair of jeans. Then I brushed my hair and we went off to our check up with Heather and Dr. Spagnoli (the surgeon). Heather showed me how to brush my teeth, and Dr. Spagnoli showed me how to open my mouth. Then I was also shown how to put rubber bands in. If they aren't in, my jaw just flys open. lol.
It's day three now. And I woke up in pain at 9:30. I was supposed to have my medicine at 8, but my mom forgot. My entire left side of my face hurt. But I can talk now! I talk like a shy fat person though. Hell, I look like a shy ft person. lol. I'll show you. As a reward for going to my blog.
Here I am at day two.
And here I am today, at day three. Major difference is in the bottom lip.
I can't wait to be un-ugly.
Thanks for listening =]
Love,
Carrie Anne.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
1. I can eat pizza all day long.
2. I think about him 50% of the time now.
3. I could stay up all night if it meant I had company.
4. I rediscovered my love for photography.
5. I'm going to miss her this time, I believe.
6. I'm now panicked about surgery (tomorrow).
7. Politics are fine to discuss as long as the goal isn't to convince the other party.
8. Cheesecake milkshakes are fantastic.
9. Being alone is only fun when I have a choice.
10. I'm excited for Massachusetts!!!!!!
11. I'm not excited to drool =[[
12. I'm excited for my song to be completed!!
13. I wish I was more outgoing.
14. I wish I had healthier habits.
15. I wish time would slow down again.
16. I wish I didn't have to reject anyone.
17. I wish I could dance.
18. I wish I wasn't so lazy.
19. Too bad I talk in my sleep.
20. Tomorrow is the final day.
Love
Lov
Lo
L
:
.
:
C
Ca
Car
Carr
Carrie
Anne
<3
:
.
2. I think about him 50% of the time now.
3. I could stay up all night if it meant I had company.
4. I rediscovered my love for photography.
5. I'm going to miss her this time, I believe.
6. I'm now panicked about surgery (tomorrow).
7. Politics are fine to discuss as long as the goal isn't to convince the other party.
8. Cheesecake milkshakes are fantastic.
9. Being alone is only fun when I have a choice.
10. I'm excited for Massachusetts!!!!!!
11. I'm not excited to drool =[[
12. I'm excited for my song to be completed!!
13. I wish I was more outgoing.
14. I wish I had healthier habits.
15. I wish time would slow down again.
16. I wish I didn't have to reject anyone.
17. I wish I could dance.
18. I wish I wasn't so lazy.
19. Too bad I talk in my sleep.
20. Tomorrow is the final day.
Love
Lov
Lo
L
:
.
:
C
Ca
Car
Carr
Carrie
Anne
<3
:
.
Monday, June 15, 2009
I've been smiling so much that my cheeks hurt quite a bit. But I think that's a good kind of hurt, when you feel happy all of the time now.
I'm addicted!
sigh.
I can't wait for this new song to come through. Someone is willing to mix my tracks for Distant Years, and now that it's all recorded, it's in his hands now. I'm PSYCHED. ahh!
I ate a breakfast today. I made 3 jumbo eggs-- scrambled, but I couldn't eat half of it. Perhaps I don't like food anymore. Is that bizarre or what? It's no disorder, I just see eating more as a chore than an indulgence these days. In effort to feel better and live longer, I'm going to go for a walk now. I've absolutely been alone ALL day. NO one is in my house but me.
sigh....
Good bye on-lookers.
Love,
Carrie Anne
I'm addicted!
sigh.
I can't wait for this new song to come through. Someone is willing to mix my tracks for Distant Years, and now that it's all recorded, it's in his hands now. I'm PSYCHED. ahh!
I ate a breakfast today. I made 3 jumbo eggs-- scrambled, but I couldn't eat half of it. Perhaps I don't like food anymore. Is that bizarre or what? It's no disorder, I just see eating more as a chore than an indulgence these days. In effort to feel better and live longer, I'm going to go for a walk now. I've absolutely been alone ALL day. NO one is in my house but me.
sigh....
Good bye on-lookers.
Love,
Carrie Anne
Monday, June 8, 2009
Hello world of mysterious blog readers. I've been doing terribly hypocritical things, and feeling better about myself everyday, while simultaneously becoming more and more terrified of the upcoming Jaw surgery. My band keeps putting off practice, but I won't be able to TALK for a week, much less sing... for a long while after the 23rd. I get my surgical hooks on day after tomorrow, then the next day I have pre-operative stuff to do. I don't really know what's going to happen at pre-op??
I'm scared of going under for the surgery. Apparently it's like sleeping, and you don't know when you're out... you just fade into it mysteriously?? Scary shit. I've been having nightmares.
Everytime I talk to someone that shows remote interest in my feelings, I blabber on about the 325346254 reasons and scenarios that scare me shitless about the surgery.
I met a few people yesterday in Davidson. Eli, Ian, and this girl named Kat who we stumbled across at the Summit. All very nice, artistically/musically inclined in some form.
Sims 3 is pretty cool, but it only enhances my creeper qualities (by my creation of people I know).
Not looking forward to Cannon next year with Ben coming back. But no other options that don't terrify me. Like public school.
Driver's ed in a month. Two weeks after surgery, so hopefully I'll be off narcotics by then? Yes, it's true, I'm 16 and have not yet taken driver's ed.
Then two weeks after that I leave for a 3 week paradise-- Writing workshop in Massachusetts!!
Sorry this blog was so sparse and irrelevant, but I've been failing at updates.
Happy Summering!
Love,
Carrie Anne
I'm scared of going under for the surgery. Apparently it's like sleeping, and you don't know when you're out... you just fade into it mysteriously?? Scary shit. I've been having nightmares.
Everytime I talk to someone that shows remote interest in my feelings, I blabber on about the 325346254 reasons and scenarios that scare me shitless about the surgery.
I met a few people yesterday in Davidson. Eli, Ian, and this girl named Kat who we stumbled across at the Summit. All very nice, artistically/musically inclined in some form.
Sims 3 is pretty cool, but it only enhances my creeper qualities (by my creation of people I know).
Not looking forward to Cannon next year with Ben coming back. But no other options that don't terrify me. Like public school.
Driver's ed in a month. Two weeks after surgery, so hopefully I'll be off narcotics by then? Yes, it's true, I'm 16 and have not yet taken driver's ed.
Then two weeks after that I leave for a 3 week paradise-- Writing workshop in Massachusetts!!
Sorry this blog was so sparse and irrelevant, but I've been failing at updates.
Happy Summering!
Love,
Carrie Anne
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