I'm trying to write a story about a disabled kid named Sam, but I'm taking a break to do this surveyish thing.

Start with 100% and subtract 1% for everything that you've done. Then repost as your __% innocent.
Now you must tag 15 people, and fill this out.

01. Smoked
02. Drank alcohol.
03. Cried when someone died.
04. Been drunk.
05. Had sex.
06. Been to a concert.
07. Gotten/given a hand job.
08. Been verbally/sexually harassed.
09. Verbally/sexually harassed somebody.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 94

11. Felt someone up and/or been felt up.
12. Laughed so hard something came out of your nose.
13. Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
14. Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.
15. Been to prom.
16. Cried at school.
17. Gotten lost in a Wal-Mart or a department store
18. Went streaking.
19. Given or received a lap dance.
20. Had someone of the opposite sex in your room.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 82

21. Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.
22. Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house.
23. Kissed a stranger.
24. Hugged a stranger.
25. Went scuba diving.
26. Driven a car.
27. Gotten an x-ray.
28. Hit by a car.
29. Had a party.
30. Done drugs.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 78

31. Played strip poker/darts/pool
32. Got paid to strip for someone.
33. Run away from home.
34. Broken a bone.
35. Eaten sushi.
36. Bought porn.
37. Watched porn.
38. Made porn.
39. Made beans.
40. Been in love.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 72

41. French kissed.
42. Laughed so hard you cried.
43. Cried yourself to sleep.
44. Laughed yourself to sleep.
45. Stabbed yourself.
46. Shot a gun.
47. Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day.
48. Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
49. Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
50. Watched an animal die.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 64

51. Watched a person die.
52. Kissed somewhere with at least 1 person present.
53. Pranked somebody.
54. Put somebody in the hospital.
55. Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out.
56. Made spicy beans.
57. Dressed punk.
58. Dressed Goth.
59. Dressed preppy.
60. Been to a motocross race.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 56

61. Avoided somebody.
62. Been stalked.
63. Stalked someone.
64. Met a celebrity.
65. Played an instrument.
66. Ridden a horse.
67. Cut yourself.
68. Bungee jumped.
69. Ding dong ditched somebody.
70. Been to a wild party.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 49

71. Been caught stealing something.
72. Kicked/punched a guy in the balls.
73. Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.
74. Gone out with your friend's crush.
75. Got arrested.
76. Been pregnant.
77. Babysat.
78. Been to another country.
79. Started your house on fire.
80. Had an encounter with a ghost.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 44

81. Donated your hair to cancer patients.
82. Been asked out by someone that you never thought you'd be asked out by.
83. Cried over a member of the opposite sex.
84. Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 2 months.
85. Sat on your butt all day.
86. Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.
87. Had a job.
88. Gotten cut from a sports team.
89. Been called a whore.
90. Danced like a whore.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 37

91. Been mistaken for a celebrity.
92. Been in a car accident.
93. Been told you have beautiful eyes.
94. Been told you have beautiful hair.
95. Raped somebody.
96. Danced in the rain.
97. Been rejected.
98. Left a restaurant without paying.
99. Punched someone/slapped someone in the face.
100. Been raped.

Total percentage: 31

WOW. That's horrible. Im a bad, bad person.

Love,

Carrie Anne

PERSONAL:

We painted our bathroom purple over the weekend. I had my fiction "exam" today, in which I wrote a short story in two hours. After that exam I filed college papers for Mrs. Shandley for two and a half hours of service. I'm certain that if I were to file papers for a living one day, I'd be suicidal. But I survived the day!

Someone else might not.  Our new cat, Bones, that we rescued last week was laying under Tinsley's bed "sleeping", but I decided to check on him. He wasn't moving, and when I poked him he just laid there. I couldn't see his face, but when I picked up his paw and dropped it, it would just smack the floor. Then I saw his face, and his eyes were open. 

"HE'S DEAD!" I cried.

But he wasn't, he was only in the process. So we rushed him immediately to the hospital down the road for animals, and watched him have the most horrible seizures while hooked up to an IV. It's been determined that he swallowed an Aderol (sp?) pill from Tinsley. If only she had cleaned her room...

He was also determined to be very much dehydrated, and it was Tinsley's responsibility to make sure he got plenty of water. We were out of money, so we couldn't take him to the ER, and the animal hospital was closing at 6. Then an angel fell from the sky (the vet) and decided she'd take care of Bones overnight. Saving us, potentially, 5 HUNDRED dollars, and the possibility of life for our beloved Bones. We'll know tomorrow whether or not he lives.

So I haven't started studying. No. But I will, I just had to shake this off temporarily. 

LESS PERSONAL:

I don't feel like animals should have to suffer just because it's too expensive to keep him alive. If I ruled the world, and I decided ultimately how health systems worked, I would model it after one of those European countries in which medical care is FREE. NO MATTER WHAT. I feel like taxes would be better off going to the health of the people, and the animals as well, rather than to miscellaneous projects that are basically indulgences... that wouldn't be enjoyed by people who DIE because they can't afford medical treatment. 

Criticize my ideas, I KNOW that I must be wrong. Tell me then, why can't it be this way? What do you think? 

Love,

Carrie Anne

I wrote a new song!!

"A Little Girl"

G, Em, C, G (Verse)

G, D, Em, C (Chorus)

*C, D, G...

When I was a little girl I cried when I was bruised

As time came faster I began to see the truth

And now I see the days as precious little jewels

And now I cry at times that I feel used

It only takes little hands to feel the world around you

To sense the wind that's blowing

To know things without knowing

It only takes little feet to walk in new directions

And one by one the steps they come

Life consumes you when you're young

And I wanna see the world again through little eyes

I wanna wonder about the sky, remember when it seemed so high?

And I wanna taste the world again with little lips

I'd do anything to remember, I just want to remember

Because we grow up before we savor our perception

We're scolded into the shape we're in but take a look at where we begin

*I'd give anything to just do it again

When you were a little boy you watched the grass move

And dreamed about the creatures that were living at its roots

You held the hand of those you thought were special to you

And you didn't understand it at all, did you?

It only takes a little heart to know that you're in love

To feel the moment its begun

And turn around and love every one

It only takes a little mind to grasp that there's an end

But not worry about stuff that makes this life rough

Just being here is good enough...

And I wanna see the world again through little eyes

I wanna wonder about the sky, remember when it seemed so high?

And I wanna taste the world again with little lips

I'd do anything to remember, I just want to remember

Because we grow up before we savor our perception

We're scolded into the shape we're in but take a look at where we begin

*I'd give anything to just do it again

It's a lot like "Distant Years" with it's theme. But I don't think the topic of growing up ever gets old, there are so many ways to look at it. Hopefully the band would like to do it with me tomorrow at practice. Tell me what you think!!

*****

What do you miss most about being "little"?

Love, 

Carrie Anne

Wow!

Look what I found!

It's my blog from 7th grade!

http://xxcarri3xx.xanga.com/

Enjoy making fun of me!

Love,

Carrie Anne

It's been interesting. Yesterday I left school at lunch. I wasn't feeling well, so I was going to try to go home anyway, but when I called my mom she said she was at the pet hospital. Apparently our cat, who's been missing since April 26, was found starving in our neighbor's garage. After this cat was hooked up to an IV and his paperwork was filed as "Sebastian", we realized it wasn't our beloved Sebastian. This was a poor starving cat that coincidentally looked a lot like Sebastian. And he needed a home. So he lives with us now, as Tinsley's new cat. Anyway. He's too weak to climb stairs, and you can feel all of his bones. He's virtually weightless. I mean, this cat would've died. But he's the sweetest thing ever. I want to call him Oliver.

I watched the season 8 finale of scrubs, finally. And cried. And laughed. And wished that there was more to it.

Tomorrow is the last day of school. But I can't figure out what drops. I'm going to go to bed right about now, because I've found little reasons to stay up way too late for this past week, and it's just really not healthy. 

I haven't started studying for my exams. I'll regret that.

Love, 

Carrie Anne

Today was the official last Monday of my sophomore year. I was really looking forward to today for two reason's though. 1) Awards ceremony and the possibility that I might have the dept. award for English. 2) Yearbook day. Even though I had my hopes up on the first part, my day was alright after all with the yearbook signing portion. Yearbook day is essentially the day where everyone is your friend again, even if you only talked while you were partners for a powerpoint project. But no hate here, I love it. I love collecting pretty little paragraphs like candy, and pulling them out later when I'm "lonely" or feel like "no one loves me". There was no joke there...

Anywhoms. I'm bringing my yearbook tomorrow because I'm not completely satisfied. Muahahaha.

At least I have no more research papers to write--except that I do. I forgot all about that damned PRP for AP Euro that is ESSENTIAL if I want to erase that 40 I got on the surprise map quiz. If I think about it, that's pretty good. Because I only left myself time to figure through 5 of the ten questions, and 4 out of 5 isn't bad at all!! But unfortunately i still need to find the time and motivation to write that little pest out of my life. 

I went to the orthodontist today after school. We talked about the surgery I'll be having next month, and planned the day that I'd come in and get the little lugs attached. And then the lady said, "bite down sweetie, let's see your overbite." So I showed her how my teeth like to hug each other when they chew. She all but gasped and said "well, you'll look a whole lot different then..."

And then it hit me. How different will I look? Will I like the way I smile? Will I suddenly realize what I've been missing? Will my face shape change? I tried on a new smile by moving my lower jaw forward, and it's one of those smiles where the bottom lip just barely conceals the bottom of the top teeth. If you follow me. My smile now is pretty happy, and my entire row of upper teeth come out to play every time. Will it really look strange and new after the knife? 

If so, I hope it will grow on me. The last thing I need is regret. Or fear. It's going to happen, and even if I forever lose feeling of my lower lip, I'll look better. I'll look better? (Yes, Carrie. You'll look better.)

At this point I'm just excited. I'll wear my hair up all the time because I won't try and hide that teensy jaw, and my mouth wont just hang open all day long like it tends to now. At night I'll be able to sleep comfortable (and I won't have to be concerned that I might drool if i turn on my stomach). 

Maybe that was more than you wanted to know, but at least you got what you should've expected from my blog title. 

Love,

Carrie Anne.

Hello!

Today was cool. I feel alright about my chemistry test, except the lab part will be interesting. Hmm. I've been practicing for symposium! I'll be playing "Where does the good go" with Will, and "Distant Years (original)", "Ay Flat Bee Flat (original)", and "Sweet Home Alabama" with the Jupiter Gang. I've got it all down except Will's song. So I need to work on that.

I've also got to start/finish my research paper as well as my French project. I watched a LOT of Scrubs today; laughed my ass off as usual. 

Good Bye,

Carrie Anne.

My mom ran away today. She was crying and hiding, and walked out on us. But she finally came back. Dinner was good, I bought it and Tinsley made it.

Hmmm.

I hope Cannon gets some new boys next year. Is that a shallow thought?

I would like life better if I didn't have these expectations. 

Here comes the sun... king of France, 

I'm Louis "X" "I" "V", and I say...

"L'etat c'est moi..."

Dun dun duh dun dun duh dun dun duh dun dun dun....

dun. dun.

See? AP Euro can be kind of fun. ESPECIALLY when the class is over!!!

Today was exam day. I came in with mints and rosemary and such, and sat my ass down at the oddly skinny tables, where I slaved for three hours. Out of the eighty multiple choice, I think I left 3 completely blank. I probably guessed on 10-20 of them. Overall, I felt like a boss because I was so prepared. I used up every last second of my allotted time, and BS'd a bit of my first FRQ. But my DBQ was a satisfying 4 pages long, and I was able to answer both FRQs. That's way better than I thought I'd be able to do. I think I got a four. I DEFINITELY passed. And a five would be AMAZING.

Ahh I'm just so glad it's over! And now that I don't have to worry about the exam anymore, I actually like European history. I learned more in that one class than I have ever known about any subject ever. If you're thinking about taking that class to challenge yourself, do it. I don't like history at all usually, but with AP Euro you'll find that it is possible to retain a massive amount of knowledge and comprehend (most) of it. Just do it.

Anywhoms. After the exam I came home and basked in my nothing-to-do-ness, and then decided I would invite myself to a ballet with Jim and Tinsley and JP. It was a lot of fun, and I'm glad I went. But Jim got terribly lost and ran over a curb while making a U-turn near downtown. 

There was this dancer there who was practically naked, and you could see his junk through the tights. It was pretty hilarious. But the ballet was good, and Jim's girlfriend was in it. 

Last night I saw this movie called  "Seven Pounds" with Will Smith, and it was by far the most beautiful movie ever created. It was better than Benjamin Button. And it had me crying my eyes out when I figured it out. Haven't heard of/seen it? GO SEE THAT MOVIE. It's a romantic drama, and it has an ending that's complex and ingenious. You'd never see it coming but it makes sense looking back on it. 

That's all for now.

Love,

Carrie Anne.

Today was fine. I wore a skirt, which by my standards was conservative enough to fly with the Cannon dress code.  Apparently not. I sort of freaked out when I almost got a demerit. I know it's "not a big deal," but I would freak out, because I've never had a demerit. I think I got through it though. It was BARELY 4 inches above the knee, but when i pulled it down it made it. 

It was pretty rainy and humid today, which is fine because it was warm. And I was pretty stressed at several points of the day, almost to tears. I haven't done any service hours this year at ALL, so there's a chance that I won't be able to graduate. That's something to panic about. But luckily Gavin is going to volunteer at the Imaginon in charlotte with me. =] If anyone has any idea how I can get my in-school hours done, could you let me know? I'd so appreciate that, and I'd love to get that done alongside someone else.

Hmm. Time to remove a link of the summer countdown chain that's hanging from the window in my closet. So close to the end!!!!

Well I need to do my last DBQ now, so that I can have an 80 test score. I'm getting so nervous about the AP Euro exam (Friday)!! How am I supposed to study for the FRQ's??

Wishing for summer,

Carrie Anne

Oh! I forgot to mention in my posts this week that I was accepted to Bard College at Simon's Rock Summer Writing Workshop... it's in Massachusetts, and I think my dad is going to fly up there with me. 

IM

SO

EXCITED!!!!!!

EEEEEE!!!!!!!

AHAHHA.

Love, 

Carrie Anne

Yesterday was a disaster.

I was so angry when I was about to perform, that I actually blanked. It was worse than one of those nightmares where you go to school only to discover that you forgot your pants. I FORGOT THE WORDS. So I picked a random lyric from the song and sang it. And then I felt my face heat up tremendously, and I was certain of the shade of crimson my face would have been. So I turned around to face the band and told them to stop. I asked Patrick, "What's the lyric to start??" And he shrugged, un-phased. I told him I wanted to run out and just quit the song. I came THAT close to running out crying in front of everyone. 

And so finally when the band stopped playing, I asked Alex (who wrote the song) what the first words were. He calmly told them to me. Four times. And the band began to play. I sung it all, and I somewhat redeemed myself (I hope). It was a horrific experience that I hope I'll never re-live. I'm supposed to be good at what I do. I'm not supposed to let my emotions get the best of me. 

I hope I don't turn out to be one of those performers who read their lyrics like karaoke from a little screen on the stage (Axl Rose...), or WORSE, I hope I won't pull an Ashlee Simpson. 

Please oh please, God of music (it's one of those Greek gods whose name starts with an "A"), don't let me screw up when I'm all on my own. Don't let it happen again.

And so I hated Arts Jam yesterday. That is all.

Love, 

Carrie Anne