It's certainly been a while since I've written you, blog.
I am realizing...

My life is a terrible thing spotted with moments of happiness...
Or that my life is a wonderful thing with trying situations between the laughs.

My outlook is whatever I choose. I'm in command of what gets done when, and how well it gets done. I'm aware of my potential. I'm aware of my passions. But am I aware of others? The people I care about? The people who make me want to improve myself? The people I could possibly love?

Yes and no. I deeply enjoy the company of others, but when the opportunity comes up that I might have a close relationship with someone, I consistently find myself backing out smoothly from the situation. Why is it that I can't make the time? The effort? I do care. But It's getting hard. I've seen too many of my friends turn to something opposite of their ideals, or opposite of mine. Either way it's difficult, and when distance is added to the equation, I've had enough. I don't easily keep up with people.

This can change. But I'm not sure I'm ready for it yet. I do know I owe it to people to show my empathy once and a while. My irrational fear of being a burden is a heavy fear indeed, and I it comes at the cost of hours freed, spent blogging about my issues rather than laughing and doing normal things with friends.

I'm dramatic enough as it is, anyway. Obviously. I don't know if having more people in my life would ease the drama. (laugh-out-loud)

I'm a complete nerd.
And I find that's okay.

Love,
Carrie Anne!